...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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