i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
