friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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