i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
