I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
