I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
