i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
