Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize