your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
