Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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