I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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