My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
