the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
