5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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