I must be too annoying 4 u.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
