she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
