this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
And then my night got REAL pukey
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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