In the future we'll all be gay
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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