weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
