The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
