i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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