Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
50% drunk capacity currently
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
