Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
