is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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