i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
