if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
