So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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