Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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