Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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