If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
