i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
