She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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