it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
