just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize