I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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