I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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