How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
