I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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