The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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