Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
