maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
