I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
