You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The power of my boobs compel you
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
