Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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