I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
