I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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