idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
