i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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