it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
