She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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