Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I got inside last night via doggy door
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
