If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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