my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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