there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
