Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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