Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize