how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
