I'm gonna have a badass scar
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
