only you would photoshop your dick
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
