I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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