So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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