so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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