I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
