I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
