the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
