He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I want to have your abortion
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
