The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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